Most of you would have set your goals by now and are working towards them. But …
There could be some resistance showing up? Hmmm
Resistance is there for a reason. Work with your resistance to change. It may be that you know you need to do something, or there is a feeling of pressure or perhaps you are trying to force things to happen.
Don’t force it.
- What do you need to have in place before you take the step? What level of certainty do you need to progress?
- It may be that you are fearful and need to feel safe to proceed. What is it that you need to have in place to trust moving forward?
- Who do you need to have around to support you?
- Do you need encouragement and/ or a plan?
Or, do you just need some courage to take the step?
- What are your concerns?
- Does this feeling of resistance bring up doubts or remind you of past experiences where you may have not done so well?
Most people when they demonstrate resistance are merely protecting themselves until they know they feel safe to progress.
Signs of resistance may be, silence when asked for an opinion, drifting along pretending all is ok, aggression when questioned, maybe you need to be in control, or you have a need to be self-sufficient or maybe you have an inability to accept perceived criticism?
In the change process, there may be anger, frustration, bargaining, blaming and self-doubt. And, this is normal. Step back and notice how you are protecting yourself and accept that you need to work out, what you need to feel safe.
Then, take one small step towards feeling safe.
Tips for working with your resistance.
- Take a Breath, its ok.
- Recognise your emotional response
- Get clarity
- Have the conversation to feel reassurance
- Know the time frames, the end game.
- Be clear about your involvement, who else is in the picture and what your role is.
- Call on your courage.
- Ask someone you trust for feedback.
- Accept the process
- Take one small step
All of these concerns are real and once addressed will allow you to accept the process with ease.
I worked with a large organisation and it was suggested that what I do is psychobabble. Well I love a challenge. Bring it on!
During the 3-day program, I alleviated their fears, reassured them that I wasn’t a threat and had them laughing by lunchtime day 2. Effective communication is what was needed. Being able to see it from their position and then step by step working towards accepting that the change process can happen with as much ease as possible.
Whatever it is, treat yourself with compassion because it may be that you are simply feeling this in a response to feeling unsafe to progress.
Sometimes there could be a fear of failure or more importantly a fear of success.
With success comes responsibility and that can be scary. It doesn’t have to be difficult it’s just different.
Don’t force it.
Merriam Webster dictionary defines resistance as
‘effort made to stop or to fight against someone or something’
The effort required to stop the process is the same if not more than the effort to allow the process to move forward.
Please feel free to call me on 0414 535 221 to discuss your needs.